Makeover Time! ~ Cabinets

Today I have chosen to post an ongoing project as I can't wait until it is finished...literally!  This kitchen is so wonderful, I love it, it has character.  I like how the previous owners were creative in making the flat 1959 cabinetry have some dimension.  I don't however, like what they used.  It is too bulky for one...and it isn't wood...it is what I fondly call 'sawdust' board.  What happens when that wonderful pressed wood dust gets damp?  It swells...soooo...in a kitchen I actually cook in...that just isn't going to work.  We also had a wonderful old Jenn-Air range, which in many ways, I wanted to keep, but realistically it was better to replace it with a newer range.  Last on our list of changes is the counter top...obviously this will be with us for some time, but the small section near the range did get a makeover as the one that was there previously wasn't attached, was too short and too wide...so Carl made a new top that is just right for the tight space and it looks real nice. 

This is what the kitchen looked like when we moved in.

Notice the small counter near the range.

Here is a close up of the cabinets and the water...steam in this case...damage.

I found The Lettered Cottage, Tudor Style Before & After online and decided that is what I wanted to do.  If you read how they did it, they used nice cabinet quality ply-wood, we opted for thin hardwood boards as it would be easier even though it is more expensive that ripping ply-wood.  After stripping all the paint off, I sanded it down and used Kilz primer/sealer on them before painting them.  We have a long way to go yet, the bottom cabinets are all painted, the drawers have all their 'pulls' but the cabinets are still waiting for their knobs.  We have all of the top cabinets to do still but, as it is gardening season now...it will have to wait a bit.

For the drawers I striped all the paint layers off, sanded them really well and put a coat of primer on them before painting...this is the bathroom drawer I am working on here...

Carl had a great time taking all the added 'wood' off...apparently...the cabinets used to be green.  I am in the process of stripping the door that is missing...it's on the counter...right ...there...

This is how far we are on this project, it will be many more months until it is finished as we need to get moving on the garden. 

Here is the cabinet top Carl made, it is a small area that doesn't have a lot of direct use, so we just used pine, the rest of the counters will possibly be copper...we shall see.  I have been sealing this counter weekly with Linseed oil.

Rest & Reflection ~ Offerings

The word offering in Hebrew is korban, the root of this word means specifically, to draw near...so to offer up something to Yahweh is to be able to draw near to Him.  That was the whole point of the offerings and still is the whole point of the offerings. How does this apply to us?  Understanding the offerings helps us understand Yahweh and how we should approach Him.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever...

Here is a little about what we have learned on offerings. 

Leviticus 1 - Olah offering - elevation offering, complete burnt offering, voluntarily given from the heart, what are we to give voluntarily from the heart to Yahweh?  Us.  All of who we are.  How?  By loving Yahweh and loving others as we love ourselves. Yeshua is an olah offering, he voluntarily laid his life down for us, he is our example of how to live Torah.  Yeshua said, "If you love me; you will keep my commands" (John 14:15, Romans 12:1)  

Leviticus 2 - Minchah offering - grain offering, voluntarily given from the heart, part offered, part kept by priests. Seasoned with salt, the salt of the covenant. (Lev 2:13)  Salt is very important here, we are to be salt to the earth (Matt 5:13, Mark 9:49-50)  Salt is a purifier a preserver, we are to be pure and preserve the Torah, the Gospel of Yeshua.   Yeshua is the grain offering.  Bread of Life. And He (Yeshua) took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying," This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of me".  (Luke 22:19) 

Leviticus 3 - Shalamim offering - Peace offering, voluntarily given, shared with priests the persons bringing it and Yahwah, the Passover is a peace offering,  Fellowship offering.  Fellowship one with another, restore and build up the whole house of Yahweh...be at peace one with another...reconcile differences in walking out Torah.  Yeshua is our Passover, we have passed from death to life in Him. (Ephesians 2, Ezekiel 37:15-19)

These first three offerings have many choices, they are free will, from the heart, voluntary offerings.  Every offering of an animal was unblemished, the grain offering was of the best.  We are to bring our best before Yahweh, always, with a cheerful heart, not grudgingly.   

Leviticus 4 - Chat'at offering - Sin offering,  mandatory offering for unintentional sin...For all have sinned...(Romans 3:23) It is completely burnt up, in two places, the main part being outside the camp.  Yeshua is our sin offering (Ephesians 2, Colossians 1:14-29, Hebrews 13:11-12)

Leviticus 5 - Asham - guilt offering, mandatory, like sin offering totally burnt up in two places, the main part being 'outside the camp'.  For a status change from being guilty of sin to being restored.  If it was something stolen, damaged, lost, etc. it was to be restored and increased by one-fifth. Yeshua is our guilt offering..."Father forgive them for they don't know what they are doing". (Luke 23:34)

These two offerings are limited in the choices as they relate to sin.  We are limited to our choices when we sin, there is a mandatory repentance to restore us to right relationship with Yahweh before we can approach Him with our voluntary offerings.  Again, every offering was unblemished, the best there can be. 

So much has been lost to us and is now being restored, very quickly.  I am amazed at how much is available to us in this time.

Shavuah tov! 


To learn more please visit:

 
Sheepfold Gleanings *
Torah portion 'comentary' for this week, Vayikra

119 Ministries *
Apologetics from a Hebrew perspective, very Berean.  "Test Everything" is their motto and their hope is that we all do our homework.



*(Any sites I link to does not necessarily imply that I agree 100% with everything they teach, we are all learning and none of us has all the answers.  You know?) 

Surrounded by Beauty!

I have a tendency to forget that life is more than being, it is also about doing.  Sure, I do lots of things during a day...most of them tedious, washing clothes, cleaning, making meals and such...I really enjoy reading and learning and peeling paint off bathroom counters! (a future post, maybe?)  That is just normal stuff for me.  The doing I am talking about is the doing I don't do...do you follow?  It's getting outside, in public...I don't do that too well.  This week, my goal is to get outside, at least once a day, for more than 30 minutes.  It's warming up, I can do that whether it is in the yard or not, I must get outside.  This is what I am missing hiding out in the bathroom all day...

Yesterday was beautiful and what was I doing all day?  I wasn't outside...not until my husband came home and booted Abigail and I out for a walk.  It was glorious to be outside and I wanted more...so, we went down to the river...the 'Mighty Columbia'...to take a peak at the VERY low water...there is a dam issue downstream...should I rephrase that?  SOooo....they let the water out.  Last year about this time it was flooding, this year...it looks like the tide is out!  Even though the water should be there...if there were no dams it would look very different...maybe something like this...who knows. 

 

I may not get many more pictures like this...

Or this...

 They are going to be on their own before I know it...I need to make the most of what I have left before they start out on their own journey...

alone.

~Blessings to you!

Makeover Time!

There really is a lot you can do with what you have.  It takes a bit of imagination, ingenuity and inspiration, but it is possible...really it is.  I am hoping this little post each week will help someone somewhere in the inspiration aspect.

Today's makeover time did cost a little money to finish up and I didn't take any pictures of the process...so...I will do the best I can at explaining what I did.

I received some inspiration on at Lowe's when we went there to buy a replacement light for the porch area.  As we were moving in, the ugly globe had gotten broke and it was just an ugly light bulb hanging from the ceiling of the walkway.  So...we were there and I was inspired by the pendant lighting...there were some there that I liked enough that I could live with, but I wanted something different, something no one else had and it wasn't a top priority anyway...I would have to wait.  Here is one at Lowe's that I liked aspects of:

At home I decided to browse Pinterest for ideas and found some really interesting lighting made from canning jars...here's one example from SaiFou.com

Not exactly what I wanted, but I could work with it...I could do a canning jar with some sort of top that made it look lantern-like...so off I went with Carl to the 'storage room' to look for some kind of a lantern type top for my soon to be canning jar pendant...although it probably would have turned out really cute...we ended up not doing that...we got distracted by my boxes of outdoor decor.

I make it sound as if I have tons of outdoor goodies...most of it is rocks...just sayin'...

I have a couple small candle lanterns and one of them caught our eye as a possible candidate for the pendant lamp.  So...we brought it out and took out the glass, sanded it down and painted it with Rust-Oleum's Hammered Metal Finish Spray in Dark Bronze.  Carl then cut a hole in the bottom and used JB Weld to attach a brace in the top for the light.  We then touched up the paint.

I wanted a 'frosted-glass' look, I don't like to see the light bulb so...I went down to the hobby store and bought some scrap-booking supplies...a protective sheet of plastic and couple sheets of semi-transparent 'rice' paper...for the glass.  Using the original glass I cut both to fit, and put the lantern back together layering the plastic, paper and the glass, the glass being on the inside.

We went to Lowe's and looked at the MANY varieties of replacement lamp pieces and cording were hoping to find a pendant lamp kit...but they only had one for track lighting...we decided we would wait for David.  Sometimes it is just best to wait.

Meanwhile I searched the internet for more ideas...it is a short pendant and I really didn't want a chain.  So I went searching on Pinterest again and found tatertots & jello DIY decorating and crafts idea to buy a copper pipe and paint it to match.
 
David and I went to Lowe's and were able to get what we needed, a ceramic lamp replacement piece, the copper pipe and a ceiling canopy.  We had wire already, but bought some round wire just in case, which we didn't end up using.

I was hoping the pipe could be threaded so the lamp would not hang from the cord, that didn't end up working out as the copper pipe was just too soft and it kept breaking off.  Carl painted it, we put it all together and hung it up!   Carl did a great job with this project! It's one of a kind and I love it!

 
Here is a before of the light that was over the sink. 

Hope this has inspired you today! 

Rest & Reflection ~ Differences

Spirit and Truth.

What is it to worship Yahweh in spirit and truth?

This is the question that has brought us to where we are now some 12-13 years from where we first started coming out of the church system, where we first started being cleansed from the doctrines and traditions of man and essentially being transformed from a Greek mindset into a Hebrew mindset.  It has been quite a journey...

Lonely?
              Yes.

Difficult?
              Often. 

Confusing?
             Sometimes.

Wouldn't trade it for anything!   So glad we asked this question...or rather were led to the question...it sort of just popped out to us, the verse that is and we asked it...what does THAT mean exactly?   It is so amazing to look back and see how utterly different we are from then.

This following God...Yahweh, it really isn't complicated.  It is us that gets in the way and makes it complicated with all the confusing things we have been programmed to believe.   It is just hard to muck through all the...well...muck...and there is so, so much of it to muck through at times. (Yes, I really did use muck three times...well four...)  Be encouraged, there are dry places where you will be thirsty...and places of hunger when you can't seem to find anything to munch on...then there are areas where you contemplate going back...but you are then reminded not to look back...there are those moments when you have to recite, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" over and over again because you feel so alone and times when making God what you want Him to be just seems to be easier than actually following Him because where is He?....this is the wilderness after all and it has been lived out before...more literally, but nevertheless, we do the same things they did, all the while saying...'if I was there I wouldn't have done that!'  Yeah...OK...I get it...

There are a lot of differences in the way people think in this world.  Strange customs, odd cultures and sayings that get lost in translation...western thought is basically Greek thought...some say Roman...OK...close enough.  We forget the Bible is actually Hebrew, not Latin...not Greek...it is Hebrew in it's entirety.  The difference in doctrines comes out of misunderstandings based on Greek thinking and a programmed antisemitism that is so deeply rooted it is impossible to see unless you are directly confronted by it...yes, I will admit it.  It happened to me, it was quite startling and I was seriously offended by myself as I had no idea that was possible of me, it was fear that brought it to the surface, I mean, really who wants to be associated with people that have been so abused through time?  Now I can say that I am a Hebrew, I may or may not be Jewish but Yeshua IS Jewish, not American and therefore to be like Him, I must follow what He did...I am grafted into Israel as I believe in the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob.  He is Echad, One.  This is so much different than what I once thought was truth.  I am so grateful, Yahweh has led my family and I on this path.  I am excited for more differences as I continue to grow in Him. 

Today we learned a few things I would like to remember here, mostly for me as I am so forgetful but also for those who are searching and may find this helpful.  I'm afraid this will be quite random...

John 19:19-22
 Pilate also had a notice written and posted on the stake; it read,

YESHUA FROM NATZERET

THE KING OF THE JEWS

Many of the Judeans read this notice, because the place where Yeshua was put on the stake was close to the city; and it had been written in Hebrew, in Latin and in Greek.  The Judeans’ head cohanim (priests) therefore said to Pilate, “Don’t write, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but ‘He said, “I am King of the Jews.”’”  Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.”

In Hebrew this meant something significant as the first letter of each Hebrew word was the Yud, Hay, Vav, Hey...which spells out the name of Yahweh.  It didn't matter so much in Greek or Latin...these priests wanted the saying changed in Hebrew so it wouldn't spell out Yahweh's name.  


The whole armor of Yahweh from Ephesians 6:11-18

This is not a Roman soldiers armour...like we have been ingrained with since we were children...nope...this is none other than the priestly garments, the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the spirit, feet shod with the preparation of peace...Isaiah 11, 49, 52 and 59 have references to this armour as well.  The priests were barefoot in the Holy Place, being grounded and shod with the 'preparation of peace', the Gospel, the Word of Yahweh. 

                                         (from http://www.messianic-torah-truth-seeker.org)

The Hebrew word kahal (qahal),  to gather as an assembly or congregation
Greek words ekklesia (a calling out of) and synagogue (a gathering) ~ depending on the 'whim' of the translators, these words have been used to subtly change the way we think.  i.e. 'synagogue of satan'...just means gathering of satan...the church in the wilderness...those gathered in the wilderness...either of these words being translated as 'church' is incorrect, making up doctrines that have done much harm and have deceived many.

Next year is the Shemita (7th) year, during the Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot) there will be a lunar eclipse, it will also be a super moon, in Israel.  This is interesting...keep watching!

Links for today: 

Mark Biltz ~ El Shaddai Ministries

Sheepfold Gleanings


 What is it to worship Yahweh in spirit and truth?  Ask Him...He will lead you. 

~Shalom & Blessings

Makeover Time!

I apparently have creative talent for making something better with little or no money.  I also have  very expensive taste, that I like to 'mimic' as much as possible.  Some things just MUST be expensive, but not everything and certainly not when it comes to making a house a home, there are so many things you can do without it costing a fortune.  I would like to share some ideas with you as they are being done here.  I have a husband and three children that help me turn my ideas into reality as well, each in their own talented way. 

My husband David takes my ideas and runs with them...they usually get done quickly, but not always exactly how I have pictured them, he is way more artistic than he realizes, that is for sure!

Our son Joshua, who is 20 now...really?  When I need him to help, he is always there to do what he can...in his own speed...which is often turtle-like...he has great ideas, he loves to make electronics and computers work when they are broken and he is a super good cook and enjoys it. 

Our son Carl, who is almost 18 now...crazy how fast time goes by...has my abilities in seeing possibilities, he dreams a bit larger than life, where I tend to be more practical.  He is artistic and loves improving things and making them new again. 

Then there is our daughter Abigail, she is 14...unreal...she is a super great helper and loves animals.  She takes care of so much around the house so I can do other things when I need to and know that the necessary household jobs will get done. 

We have been in this house now for two months...is that all?  Yep. It's true. Two...months.  Seems like we have been here...well...for at least a year...maybe because we were totally unpacked in what...like three days...maybe four?  I don't know...it was so long ago now I can't remember...could have been five...We have already accomplished many projects besides unpacking and hanging pictures...shelving, light fixtures, cabinet makeovers, curtains, even some yard work...since this post is already long, I will show you what I did with this room: 

This room is long and narrow.  There is a cabinet behind the door to the right and there is a baseboard heater behind the other door.  The lighting fixture is small but is hooked up to a dimmer.  There are  blinds with a large closet bar type curtain rod and a very low triangular blue and white striped curtain over the window. 

This is how it looks now:

My son Carl and I took down the light fixture and replaced it with the dining room light fixture.  We also removed the bulky curtain rod from the window.  It was about an inch shy of fitting across the room, so Carl made brackets out of 2x4 scrap, which worked perfectly.

This room is multifunctional, it is Gramma's room when she comes to visit, it is the sewing/craft room, office and a place for outdoor plants that can't survive the winter.  It is also our extra seating for our Shabbat meal, Abigail sets the table for her friends and they have a great time around their special table. 

Hope this has inspired an idea for you!



 

 

 

A Weekly Rest and Reflection ~ Torah

Learning how to study the Whole Word of Yahweh has been very helpful in understanding what the New Testament, otherwise known as the Renewed Covenant (B'rit Hadashah) actually is about.  There is an actual plan of study each week, starting with a portion (Parashah) of Torah, which is the first five books in the Bible, then a reading from the prophets or writings, called the Haftarah and if you are a believer in Yeshua the Messiah you end with a reading from the Renewed Covenant.

For example, this weeks portion is Exodus 35:1-38:20, it is called Vayak'hel which is Hebrew for "he assembled" and comes from the first verse, as do all the names of the portions.  This portion starts with a restatement of the command to keep the Sabbath (Shabbat), going into the building of the Tabernacle (Mishkan).  It is interesting to point out that out of the WHOLE congregation it was those with willing hearts who offered items for the building...so much so they had to be stopped and that it was  those who had wise hearts who actually did the building.  There were those who did neither.  This is still the pattern today with people in the congregation.  This portion also introduces us to the man named B'tzal'el, whose name means "in the shadow (or image) of EL (God) and who is from the tribe of Judah and is the one who builds the Tabernacle.  Oholi'av, whose name means 'tent of the father' and who is from the tribe of Dan, is the teacher and assistant for the building of the Tent of the Father.  This is very exciting to learn about as we begin to see the connections from the beginning that Yeshua was making with the two on the road to Emmaus!  This is the Gospel of Yeshua. 

The Torah is not a confusing compilation of stories after all.  It is our foundation.  The wise man built his house upon a rock (Matt. 7:24-27)...that rock is the Torah, Yeshua is that Torah made flesh who dwelt (tabernacled) among us.  If we love Him we are to keep his commandments...what are these commandments?  They are Torah.  It really is that simple and we, as people, have a tendency to make it hard.  His commands are not hard.  (1 John 5:3)  If we love Him, we keep His commands.  This is out of love, not to save us.  We are saved by grace as was Noah and his family from the destructive flood.  We are saved by grace, because Yahweh is 'merciful and compassionate, slow to anger, rich in grace and truth...' (Exodus 34:6)  Yahweh never changes, he has always been merciful and gracious to us, from the very beginning through the generations since to today.  Thanks be to Yahweh for His indescribable gift!  Yes and Amen! 

~May Yahweh bless you and keep you this week!

For more about the Gospel of Yeshua check out 119 Ministries teachings, they also have transcripts for most of their teachings, here are a couple links:

What is the Gospel? Part 1
What is the Gospel? Part 2

A Weekly Rest and Reflection ~ Shabbat

Shabbat Shalom!

It is after dark on Friday night, which is the beginning of the seventh day, called Shabbat, Shabbos or more commonly known as Sabbath on the Hebrew calendar.  It is a day that has been given to all of Israel and the stranger sojourning among them for rest. So why is it ignored and disregarded as 'done away with'?  What do we believe? 

 Exodus 20: 1-17 (Amp)

Then God spoke all these words:

I am (Yahweh) the Lord your God, Who has brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before or besides Me.

You shall not make yourself any graven image [to worship it] or any likeness of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; You shall not bow down yourself to them or serve them; for I (Yahweh) the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me, But showing mercy and steadfast love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments.

You shall not use or repeat the name of (Yahweh) the Lord your God in vain [that is, lightly or frivolously, in false affirmations or profanely]; for (Yahweh) the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

[Earnestly] remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy (withdrawn from common employment and dedicated to God). Six days you shall labor and do all your work, But the seventh day is a Sabbath to (Yahweh) the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, your daughter, your manservant, your maidservant, your domestic animals, or the sojourner within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. That is why (Yahweh) the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it [set it apart for His purposes].

Regard (treat with honor, due obedience, and courtesy) your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land (Yahweh) the Lord your God gives you.

You shall not commit murder.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not witness falsely against your neighbor.

 
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.

This is the foundation.  The first four statements (commandments) are about how to love Yahweh.  The last six are how to love your neighbor as yourself...These two commandments sum up and upon them hang all the Law (Torah) and the Prophets.  Matthew 22:40 AMP  

I love Shabbat! I look forward to it every week.  Learning how to 'remember it earnestly' has been challenging at times as we live in a country that does not acknowledge Shabbat...but, this does not mean we should just go with the flow and not worry about it...I mean God knows my heart...right?  Yep.  It is deceitful, who can know it?  The way is narrow and few find it...if I 'go with the flow'  I quickly find myself swept away and on the wide path that leads...well...you know...and no one wants to go down that road! 
  
More to ponder scientifically:  NEWSTART - Rest

An apologetic study to watch:  119 Ministries - Test Everything, The Sabbath Day

A few more verses to ponder...

And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done; and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. And God blessed (spoke good of) the seventh day, set it apart as His own, and hallowed it, because on it God rested from all His work which He had created and done. Genesis 2:2-3 (Amp)

Wherefore the Israelites shall keep the Sabbath to observe it throughout their generations, a perpetual covenant. Exodus 31:16 (Amp)

If you turn away your foot from [traveling unduly on] the Sabbath, from doing your own pleasure on My holy day, and call the Sabbath a [spiritual] delight, the holy day of (Yahweh) the Lord honorable, and honor Him and it, not going your own way or seeking or finding your own pleasure or speaking with your own [idle] words, Then will you delight yourself in (Yahweh) the Lord, and I will make you to ride on the high places of the earth, and I will feed you with the heritage [promised for you] of Jacob your father; for the mouth of (Yahweh) the Lord has spoken it. Isaiah 58:13-14 (Amp)
 
I came to be, in the Spirit, on the Day of (Yahweh) the Lord; and I heard behind me a loud voice, like a trumpet,...  Revelation 1:10 (CJB)

Pray that your flight may not be in winter or on a Sabbath.  Matthew 24:20 (Amp)

And (Yeshua) Jesus said to them, The Sabbath was made on account and for the sake of man, not man for the Sabbath; Mark 2:27 (Amp)

So He came to Nazareth, [that Nazareth] where He had been brought up, and He entered the synagogue, as was His custom on the Sabbath day. And He stood up to read. Luke 4:16 (Amp)

.... For from ancient generations Moses (Torah) has had his preachers in every town, for he is read [aloud] every Sabbath in the synagogues.  Acts 15:21 (Amp) 

Some of these passages have been twisted or ignored and made into something they were never meant to be and in 325 AD the course of time (Yahweh's calendar) and the seasons (Yahweh's appointments) were changed and outlawed by the Council of Nicea.  We live in a time of restoration of the ancient paths..Stand at the crossroads and look; ask about the ancient paths, ‘Which one is the good way?’ Take it, and you will find rest for your souls.  But they said, ‘We will not take it.’ (Jeremiah 6:16), We want to be those who do take the ancient path.  We want to be those who Hear and Obey (Shema!)  

This is why we remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy. 

 May Yahweh bless you and keep you, my His face shine upon you and bring you peace!

Shalom! (Peace)

~Anita

A New Adventure

Today marks the beginning of a new adventure for my daughter, Abigail and I as well as a couple of friends who have contributed in creating items.  Abigail and I have just opened our own ETSY shop, Seems Simple to help fund our trip to Israel. 

We have quite a selection of items we will be listing from homemade hats to healthy cleaning products and body care made with doTERRA Essential Oils made by my dear friend and I.

It is a work in progress...right now all I have listed is hats, but keep checking for more items!

Thanks for checking it out!   Gotta run!

~Blessings

New Beginnings

It's been a year since I last posted...wow...where have I been?  Not blogging, that's for sure!

Good thing I don't HAVE to do this blogging thing...

but, I do! 

I need to do this! 

I have new goals and new plans, I have dreams and desires, that aren't new, just newly awakened, I have a new home to care for and make better, I have a new direction.

 I have purpose again. 

I didn't realize how much I was fighting for a purpose until now.

A month ago, we closed on a house...something I really never expected to have again.

I am still recovering from the shock!  We have been busy making it our own, it has been fun to have that outlet again.   I was slowly dying from lack of creativity where we were renting for nearly two years.  Having a home again is a big help to helping me fight for my purpose, it is a dream and desire fulfilled, but, I have a much larger dream and desire...

I want to go to Israel, I want our entire family to go, if possible, this fall.  There are five of us.  This is HUGE to me.  I don't know how it is going to happen, I just know it CAN and it WILL happen.  I just need to stick with my goals and plans.  This is why I must blog...it's part of the plan.

What is my purpose?  I am a helper...this is what I have told myself for a long time...and what I have become...but I am more than that.  I have gifts.  We all do, right?  My gift is not limited to 'helper extraordinaire'...there is more to me than that.  I can write...sort of...I sew (some people don't, or can't),  I apparently am artistic, (at least that's what 'they' say), I LOVE to paint (it brings me peace), I am creative...I am more than that, but that is enough for now.  (HA!)  Most importantly, I do have worth, I am beautiful, I am what others see me to be and I need to accept it and move forward. 

This battle is over, has been for a long time but I was frozen in terror. 

No longer. 

I am moving forward once again. 

Deep breath...(and some tears). 

You can do this too. 

You are amazing as well. 

What is your purpose?   

Take a deep breath...shed some tears and move forward...

Blessings to you!

~Anita